Lessons Learned -- Embracing What I've Been Given

Hello lovelies.

It's honesty time. Not that I'm not always honest on this blog, but I'm choosing to be specifically honest about what I've been learning lately, big life changes, and where my heart is at currently. 

First, guess what? Ya girl is back in the desert, and I'm loving it. I missed the dry heat, the sunshine, the mountains, the palm trees, and of course, the wonderful people I had enter my life over my previous season here in Arizona. Yes, of course it has been difficult to leave my Michigan family and friends, but God's been leading me down a crazy road and it brought me back here to Arizona. I'm not gonna lie to you and say that things have been the easiest just because I'm back in the sunshine. Up until recently, I hadn't even confessed to myself about how afraid I was of this move. All the "what if" questions that came along with coming back and living on my own officially. Yeah, I was technically on my own when I was at GCU, but everything then was basically prepaid, and being here now, I'm paying rent and living with roommates and things are now dependent on my new job (that I am very blessed to have and thankful for, by the way) and the money I can make every few weeks so I can afford living expenses and paying bills. I'm actually on my own now, and my friends, I can't say it's easy. I've been completely terrified. Completely and absolutely broken down. I've fallen to my knees in prayer that God would make it easier on me, taking away the anxiety, taking away the depression that still exists, even in the sunlight I have here. It's definitely been more manageable, but it's still there. At this point I am, as I should be always, completely relying on God and His strength to get me through whatever comes my way. I can't do this on my own. I need Him. And not only do I need my God, I need the community He has recently placed in my life that I have been so blessed by.   

I already had my wonderful roommates, Tori and Hannah, that I knew I was gonna be living with. I already had my previous GCU friends Luke, Emily, Courtney, as well as others who will be back in the fall. And I already had my Hillsong church family, but the problem there is that I came here with no car. No way to get to downtown Phoenix. So the original plan was for Emily to come through here in Tempe to get me on the way to Phoenix and we would take turns paying for gas to get to church, but then I had coffee with my dear friend Luke. And Luke is possibly one of my biggest blessings to have here in Arizona in form of a person. For a variety of reasons, but here we're focusing on this reason... He invited me to his church, The Collective, that just so happens to be within walking distance from my house here in Tempe. This, my friends, is something I've noticed to be God-orchestrated. I went to The Collective for the first time only a few weeks ago, and everyone there has already welcomed me in with open hearts and open arms and I love them so much, and have received love from them in return. This is a community that I am so thankful to join and be a part of. So Luke, I can't thank you enough for inviting me in to this church family. I have come to know beautiful souls who I can now call friends like Stacia, Haley, and Kaitlyn, and I'm so excited to know them more. I'm so blessed by these wonderful people that have been introduced into my life.

Something else I've been learning along with the value of community is this: Don't fight to be in the lives of people who don't fight to be in yours. If somebody isn't choosing you as a priority, then please don't make theme of yours. I've been learning this the hard way. Constantly chasing people and pursuing people and choosing people who haven't chased, pursued, or chosen me in return. I've come to the conclusion that I should stop spending so much time being sad about and mourning because of the people who don't wanna be in my life, and start spending time being joyful and celebrating those who do wanna be in my life. I have so much to be thankful for and so much goodness in my life, I don't need to be dragged down by toxicity of people who won't choose me back.

And finally, the lesson I've been wrestling with the most is something I heard at The Collective church this past Sunday. I can't tell you enough how thankful I am to have been invited into this community, even in such a short time with this family of believers, I've been able to express myself honestly, learn from them incredibly, and grow my heart deeply. And so this past Sunday, Nate was teaching on recognizing lies and false prophets. How Satan wants us to believe his lies and be frightened by them. But we have been informed that we can be fearless through our Savior. God has already given us the tools to fight against our fears and the lies we are told. Nate used the example of his daughter sitting at the table with a plate of bacon. Suddenly, his dog, who is much bigger than his daughter, comes up to the table and wants the bacon. And though Nate, the father of the family, is right there, even bigger than the dog after the bacon, his daughter is still afraid when she focuses on how big the dog is. This is a very simple model to show that we focus so much on the dog(symbolizing the devil) trying to get to us and make us afraid, that we don't focus on our dad (symbolizing our heavenly Father) who is much MUCH bigger than the dog. When we focus on our Father, our fears can fade because we know who we are, and WHOSE we are. We belong to the Father and fears and lies and satan himself don't have enough power to overcome us. It's all the power we give the fears and the lies and the darkness. We can be fearless by testing the truth of what we have heard because they should not be fear-based teachings. We can be fearless by knowing and believing in our new identity found in the Father. And we can be fearless by speaking out against the lies we hear. We have the armor of God, and one weapon against all darkness to come against us: The WORD of God. And that, my friends, is more than enough. Satan knows what we're afraid of and he tries to use that against us, but when we focus on the love and truth of the Father? We can overcome the darkness.

I hope you were able to be encouraged by what I've been learning, my friends. Be blessed and be strong. We have so much more power than the darkness in this world, because the Spirit in us is so much greater.

Special thanks to Stacia, Haley, and Kaitlyn for being some of the most welcoming ladies I've been able to connect with so far from The Collective. Also Hannah and Tori for being my roommates and dealing with my mood swings, sassiness, horrible cooking, and other things you learn to live with in roommate situations. And finally, Luke, Emily, and Courtney for always praying for me, lifting me up in ways I can't lift myself up, and for being such strong people for me to lean on to point me back to my Savior. I love you all beyond words. 

~Abby Lynn