Hello, cupcakes.
It's AbbyLynn, your friendly neighborhood blogger here! This is a special poem/appreciation post for someone very special to me. One of my best and longest friends, Mandy, moved to South Korea the other day for an internship she is pursuing, and though I am very happy for her and her successes and opportunities, I can't lie and say that it has been easy to watch her go. She's been my best friend since I was 5. That's like 18 years, my friends. Our friendship can VOTE. And that to me is CRAZY stuff. SO anyway, I wrote this poem that I shared with her before she left, and I'd like to share it with you all as well, in appreciation and love for her. I hope you like it! This is my poem: Lessons From A Best Friend...
"Lessons From A Best Friend"
By: AbbyLynn Writes
You're so much more than wanted;
An adventure I never planned,
The kind that's full of new surprises
And is always something grand.
But you're the rarest of adventures
Because you taught me something new;
Lessons I could not have learned
If I had not met you.
You taught me to find calm
In the middle of a storm,
And all the while, you gave me hope
When I was feeling worn.
In these storms, I found a strength
While I was beaten down,
And even in my hurricanes,
You always stuck around.
You taught me that I wasn't made
To do this life alone,
And you helped to heal the heart
Of a girl who's "accident-prone".
You knew my heart was fragile--
Needing soft and tender care.
So when I though I was alone,
Well, you were always there.
You helped me to appreciate
A life of light and love,
My dear sweet friend, you are an answer
To the prayers I sent above.
Because when I was lonely,
God knew that I'd need you.
He gave me more than just a friend,
But another sister too!
So let me state it clearly,
That I love you very much,
And even as we part our ways,
We'll surely keep in touch.
I need for you to know
Just how much I care for you,
And know I love you even more
After all that we've been through.
It's true you mean the world to me;
You're one of my biggest blessings
Always there for my support
In the midst of chaos and stressing.
Without you here my world will be
A little bit less bright,
Because you met me in my darkness
To help turn on the light.
You're so much more than wanted:
The adventure I love the most,
And tho I need to let you go,
I'll always hold you close.
The love you've given me is held
Strongly in my heart,
So know that I am proud of you,
And we're never far apart.
Yes, you're so much more than wanted,
And more than my best friend.
You're the sister I didn't know I needed
That's why I'll love you till the end.
~AbbyLynn
"Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Am I wrong for asking why?
Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Somebody help me.
Even though I'm nowhere,
Even though I'm so scared,
You're reaching out.
Gonna hold me till I'm alright,
Make it right in my mind,
Won't let me down.
I'm trusting in your plan,
When I don't have the answers.
Even when I'm nowhere,
even though I'm so scared,
You help me."
Hello my loves.
Today I've done a lot of thinking and I'd like to share my conclusive thoughts with you, if I may.
First, how about I tell you what I was thinking about...
I have had, honestly, the hardest five months of my life. And though I can be over dramatic at time, this is in all seriousness. I've lost some once very important people in my life who walked out of it, and lost some people who still matter very much who have passed away. It's been the loneliest season I can recall living and, this being in all honesty from my heart, I have never felt so much heartache and pain that I can think of. That said, I want to explain the lyrics I opened with and share a quotes from church yesterday that hit my heart...
These lyrics are from the song "Help Me", a song written by my new friends who are in the band Alive City. This song is what I opened this with because it's literally my heart cry at this point in my life. In the first verse of the song, it has the questions of "why am I going nowhere", "why am I feeling so scared", and "where are my answers". The song then proceeds to ask if these feelings are wrong and cries out for help. That's essentially what I've been feeling for the past five months.
My life has had so many falling outs these past five months and so much has happened that has left me incredibly broken-hearted and hurt inside. I've learned a lot through this journey in the midst of my pain, however. And that's why I'm writing this to you, because I want to share the lessons I've learned in hopes that if you reading this are also in a season similar to mine, you may find hope in knowing that you aren't as alone as you think. Oh and by the way, your questions wondering if how you're feeling is wrong? It's not wrong. It's totally normal because I've been there-- or rather, I AM there right now.
"God is still God in your Babylon."
~Pastor Jeremy Schossau
This one needs a bit of back story for those of you who aren't as knowledgable about biblical history...
Well you first you need to realize and acknowledge this: That God, all throughout history, has a habit of interrupting man's plans, and that is the best thing that could ever happen to us, even if we don't know it yet.
Now Pastor Jeremy shared a sermon on Jeremiah 29, and the context is that basically up until rather recently, Israel was doing really well in terms of overcoming their enemies and winning their battles. Note that overcoming enemies and winning battles back in this time was seen as not just having good skill, but having good gods, and Israel was doing so well that others thought they must have a great one. Anyway, so in about 930 B.C., the kingdom of Israel divides into the northern and southern kingdoms, and in about 200 years(~722 B.C.) the Assyrians conquer the Northern kingdom. Then in 586 B.C., the southern kingdom falls to the Babylonians (though the first wave of exiles came in 605 B.C... REMEMBER THIS, it has context importance later!). Here's where we start to come to the climax of this point... While in exile and captive in Babylon, Jeremiah, who was a prophet who literally told Israel that bad things would happen if they didn't get their act together and return to their faith in the God of heaven, sent them a letter. Now, you'd think this would be one big "I told you so!" kind of letter. But instead, it was a letter of encouragement. Like MAJOR encouragement. It essentially said that they would be in Babylon for 70 years, or a lifetime, basically meaning that this current generation would never leave Babylon. BUT GOD (because there's always a gotta be a good BUT GOD moment) will bring the nation of Israel out and do all that He has promised. In comes one of the most popular verses in the Bible, Jeremiah 29:11...
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'"~Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
Here's God just doing what He does, and that is coming in at HIS time and by HIS methods to save HIS people. But wait just a second, why didn't God just let them keep having triumphant victories? Why couldn't He just keep being present for His people? First, the people of Israel were rebelling against God and conforming to the ways of other nations, and this displeased Him of course. And second is a trick question, because from this whole story we have seen that God is always present and at work EVEN IN BABYLON. And so comes the quote from Pastor Jeremy: "God is still God in your Babylon". Because even when God is quiet, God is still good and God is still working. And this leads me to my final quote from yesterday that impacted my heart...
"A teacher is always silent during a test."
~Evan Neal
By now, I hope you've realized that God is present in your trials, even if you don't realize it, but why can't you hear His still voice? Why can't He be more obvious? I can assure you, it's not a form of punishment, and it's not to make you feel alone. But just think about it like school. You're constantly given tests on what you learn. What's the point of a test? To take what you learn and to apply it for better results in the end. What's the point of God's tests? To take what we learn and to apply it for BETTER results in the end. But here's the kicker. Ever notice how a teacher talks and teachers and goes on and on and on about what they want you to learn, but then they're quiet when you're taking your test? That's because they want you to apply your lessons learned just like God wants you to become better on the other side of your struggles. So next time you feel like God has abandoned you, a teacher is always silent during a test.
Well there you have it, my loves. That's what I took away from yesterday's defining moments and the past week in reflection on my current season I've experienced these last five months. I am hopeful and trusting in the LORD to bring me out of my Babylon, and to be present while I'm still in it. I hope you will trust Him too. And remember that even in His silence, take your trials to REFINE you and not DEFINE you. Be blessed, sweet friends.
~AbbyLynn
