Hello my loves.
Here is something long overdue. My "me too" story. But with a twist. It's a poem, because it's how I chose to express myself and get the painful truth written down.
"You Don't Love Me If..."
I didn't know it then,
Who you would make me into,
The monster I'd become,
The colorful world you would soon turn gray,
Or the beautiful mind I had
That would spend years in therapy
Because of how you treated me.
"He's just being a guy" they said.
"All guys are like that" I was told.
"It's just what guys do" they reasoned.
But it's not what guys do.
Only guys like you,
Who are low enough to take a girl
Who loved herself fully and
Loved herself boldly
And use the "You don't love me if you don't..." excuse
Just to get what you want.
Just because leaving you was my choice,
I don't get comfort from others,
Nor do I get "I'm sorry" from you.
And you know something?
I don't think you are sorry,
Because you got what you wanted,
Even if it was by force.
Now you've been gone,
And here I am waking up screaming
In the middle of the night
Due to traumatic memories haunting my sleep
After all you put me through
And what are you doing now?
Probably the same thing to some other girl.
Unless you've changed,
And for her sake, I hope you have.
Don't you hurt her like you did me,
Don't manipulate her,
Or mess with her mind,
Or toy with her feelings.
And don't you use the "You don't love me if..." excuse.
Because I did love you.
More fiercely than I loved myself,
And this is my biggest regret now.
That I wasted so much time loving you so fiercely,
Finding better ways to care for you,
And know you,
And do nice things for you...
That I forgot myself.
~AbbyLynn
